5 People in Your College Class

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If you’re a college graduate or are still attending college, you probably have recent memories of ramen dinners, mad rushes across campus after all-nighters, and pre-final computer crashes. You also probably have fond (or not so fond) memories of your classmates, some of whom seem to attend every school.

THE REALLY PHILOSOPHICAL ONE

It doesn’t matter what the topic at hand is. The philosophers of the class can always find a deeper meaning, an obscure implication, or new angle. At the very least, they can debate a point like no others. It keeps the class interactive, although it also occasionally derails the topic into a discussion about the soul-wrenching qualities of ketchup.

“DIDN’T WE JUST ANSWER THIS QUESTION?”

Someone asks a question. The professor explains. A moment later, someone raises a hand and asks the same question again.

SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER

With thumbs that move faster than the speed of sound and a selfie game to match, these people use their phones all throughout class. Hey, so they have the textbook online. And also 500 friends online.

BENEDICT ARNOLD

For some reason, there’s always one person who feels compelled, at the end of the class, to raise a hand and ask the professor if the homework is going to be collected. When the professor recollects that yes, the homework is due, everyone who was silently celebrating over the forgotten assignment slumps. The Benedict Arnold, to be fair, was a good student and did the work on time. But try explaining that to the students who got busted without their homework.

SUPERMAN/SUPERWOMAN

These intrepid heroes can be found in many evening classes. They’re going to school. They work (frequently full time). And they have a kid, sometimes multiple kids. Do they have time travel capacities, or can they move faster than the average human? Somehow they juggle these demands and turn in their homework before the deadlines. If you’ve done it, you’re either a wizard at time management or functioning without food and sleep. If you haven’t—well, all the rest of us can do is marvel.

I'm a lover of words in all forms, sweatshirts in all conditions, and God in all circumstances. I particularly enjoy working collaboratively on the written word and wearing microfiber robes (preferably at the same time). Most of the time I don't get enough sleep, but I make a valiant effort.

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