How to Tell Your Partner is Not Thinking About Sex During Sex

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Having sex is supposed to be the time where you and your partner share the most intimate connection. If your minds are elsewhere, you can put a real damper on your sex lives. To avoid this, here are a few ways you can tell your partner is not thinking about sex when you two are trying to have sex. We also have a couple of suggestions of how you can divert their attention back to you.

No eye contact 
If your partner does not look into your eyes while having sex, their mind could be elsewhere. Sex gets more intense when you look at how each of you is responding. When your partner’s eyes are not on or they are zoned out, looking like a space cadet, then they are not thinking about the sex you two are having.

No kisses
You cannot possibly be in the mood if your partner is not kissing you. Kissing while having sex makes it feel more intimate and sensual. There is also a sense of comfort that kissing brings that allows you both to grow closer during sex. So if your partner is not kissing you, then they is not paying attention to the connection you both share.

Checks the time
This could be hurtful, annoying, and upsetting—or all of the above. If your partner looks at their clock, watch, or cellphone during sex, then you know they are thinking of something else. Even worse, they can give you the impression that there is another place they rather be.

Does not finish
It is hard to believe that you two just had sex if none of you climax. For men, and especially for women, their minds have to be focused on sex in order to reach an orgasm. If neither one of you receive any sexual satisfaction then receiving and giving pleasure was not on your minds.

Talking or asking questions—that are not sexy
There is no need for your partner to start talking about their day at work, or ask you what you want for dinner during sex. If they talk about trifles in the bedroom, it is possible that they are thinking about something that upset them during the day or worried about completing their to-do-list. There is no way that you can remain in the mood with all of that mindless chatter

Via Photo Spin

Via Photo Spin

The best way to fix this distraction as well as all of the distractions listed above is to take matters into your own hand and force your partner’s attention on you. There are just a few housekeeping details you have to take care of before you have sex. Make sure you talk to each other and get everything about your day out of the way so you can focus on your connection in the bedroom. Also, make sure devices and TVs are out of sight, this will ensure that there is no chance of any unwanted distractions.

If you encounter the problem of no eye contact, kisses, or no climax, then be direct and assertive and make your partner focus on you. You can hold their face between your hands and give them forceful kisses. Utilize foreplay by performing a little oral or give some loving with your hands to jumpstart their libido.

 

 

Originally from Paterson, NJ, I recently graduated from Seton Hall University with my B.A in English. I will be starting my M.A program in Literature at Seton Hall University in spring 2015. I love Pinterest, Photoshop, and writing fictional short stories about characters who are trying to establish a sense of individuality while in relationships. Ready to momentarily stray from fiction, I am motivated to write about topics that are important to women.

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