- Pack up whatever is left behind. Don’t leave pictures, presents, articles of clothing, or little reminders of the relationship sitting around. It will be really challenging at first, but the best way to help stay sane is to stop allowing yourself to be reminded of the past relationship. Gut everything in one shot; delete all your pictures together, collect all of your items in one shot, delete the number, EVERYTHING. It may seem “too soon”, but the quicker the better. Why? In gathering everything and removing them from your life, you’re confronting them; you’re allowing the grieving process to kick in. Who cares if it was 3 months, 3 years, or 3 decades? What matters is that if it meant something to you, you’re going to grieve over it, and there isn’t anything wrong with that.
- Don’t deny your feelings if they resurface. This is also a huge part of accepting and grieving. By ignoring your feelings, and burying them deep inside, you don’t confront them, and they don’t ever really go away. In fact, all you’re doing is setting yourself up for those feelings to recur at some other point in your life. Heart break is hard to deal with, but sooner or later, you WILL have to deal with it. Accept and embrace your feelings – they’re what makes you human!
- Self medicating will not help you feel better, no matter how much you think it will. You will not forget the real issue, and it could even lead you into a darker, more destructive path! Continue taking care of yourself. Don’t stop showering or eating, and definitely don’t start using other negative coping mechanisms like alcohol, other drugs, or self inflicting habits. These are harmful behaviors that won’t help you cope. The only way for you truly stay sane and mend yourself is to confront the issue and the feelings, accept it, and allow yourself to move on.
