A Birth Order Guide to Better Understand Yourself

Birth order guide for a better understanding about yourself

It is a well-known fact that birth order heavily influences child development. This is because each sibling differs from the other, especially because of their parents’ unconventional upbringing, which can end up in a good or a bad way. Read on to explore more about your personality.

  • Eldest Children – Born leaders | Smarter
Birth order guide for a better understanding about yourself
www.dreamstime.com / Born leaders | Smarter

The eldest children are popular among ambitious leaders. It is not a secret that firstborn children get all the attention initially since there are no other children for distraction. Thus, the family shows them with focus and attention.

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The author of Birth Order Blues, who is also a child and family therapist, Meri Wallace, says, “The eldest child gets lots of teaching and thus grows up feeling confident, secure and strong enough to be a prominent leader.”

Parents and the younger siblings shape up the leadership role in the eldest children. Parents often seek help from the eldest child with younger siblings and chores, which undoubtedly opens up the pathway to leadership.

Mum can ask the eldest child to watch the baby for a period until the mom gets back. The firstborn with these daily practices shape up into being responsible and a nurturing individual as they grow. The firstborns are thus natural and trained leaders.
They have shown that the oldest children possess higher IQ levels than subsequent children with much research and studies. This is because parents provide more mental stimulation to the eldest kids. Parents’ availability to the eldest children to read, explain and educate them is much greater when it’s compared to the time allocated for younger siblings.

According to Wallace, “Despite the environment, parents talk to the eldest kids more at home or during outside walks.”

The eldest children are asked more questions, and in response, parents even go to the extent of correcting their thinking. Therefore, the analytical and conceptual thinking of older children is higher. According to NASA stats, 21 out of 23 Astronauts aboard are firstborns. According to Birth order researcher Linda Campbell, eldest and older children are more like adults in thinking and undertaking responsibilities. They also possess a broader knowledge of vocabulary. The only associated downside to being a firstborn is the continuous pressure to do well, if not for the best. Therefore, in most instances, the eldest or firstborn children are perfectionists.

  • Middle Children – More creative | Negotiators
A better understanding about yourself
More creative | Negotiators

According to Wallace, the middle child doesn’t have a clear identity. The parents are still busy with the eldest child’s first experiences as first sleepovers or starting high school; the parents still keep learning from the older child. Whereas everything the middle child does is a previous experience for parents, irrespective of how much the middle child craves attention, he always gets less. Instead, the youngest will get the attention, as he might still need so much help. The middle children are mostly the ones without a clear identity about themselves.

According to a study from Spain, they discovered that amidst the chaos, the middle children are still active and possess powerful personalities because of the siblings’ companionship. Thus, middle children are not discovered with emotional disorders. Middle children explore on their own and ultimately end up following their niche, which may cause their creativity. Ultimately, they end up being more creative than the eldest children since there is less parental supervision and fewer expectations to follow the rules. Middle children are also attention seekers but try turning heads around either with their artistic skills or jokes. If you are a middle child and feel lost, think again, recognize, and identify your hidden talents.

Middle children are also popular to be peacemakers in the family between siblings. Although middle children are gradually squeezed, they become skilled negotiators since they are experts at getting along with people and understanding different angles somehow. Thus, middle children are considered to be holding both fairness and justice.

  • Youngest Children- Entrepreneurs | Relaxed
Birth order guide for a better understanding about yourself
www.dreamstime.com / Entrepreneurs | Relaxed

The youngest children get more attention, not because parents want to give them attention, but because they might otherwise feel left out in most instances. Younger children always compare why older children can do certain activities like cycling and can not. They compare without the ability to understand the difference between them and older kids. Thus, the youngest kids feel disturbed and inadequate when they are around their elder siblings. The eldest kids often stop the youngest from acting only because the outcome may be unpleasant or unacceptable, not realizing how it will affect the younger siblings. This way, the youngest in the family may seem quite unwanted or unimportant and feel neglected.

Although the youngest kids are more prone to being petted for their forever ‘baby title’ in the house, they still may feel manipulated and try to find their way to keep them occupied and concentrated as they grow up. This is one probable reason the youngest children in the family are more prone to being entrepreneurs.

By the time parents get to their youngest kids, they are very aware of basically every situation, and parents know what they are doing. Thus, parents are more relaxed and easygoing around the youngest kids, resulting in the youngest children feeling more relaxed. The second child or the middle child’s rules are more flexible than they were for the firstborn. The rules for the youngest will be even more flexible than those of the middle child. This means the youngest kids are natural.

  • ‘Only’ Children
Birth order guide for a better understanding about yourself
CREDIT: DREAMTEAMSTOCK/SHUTTERSTOCK / ‘Only’ Children

With the forever bound attention, the ‘only’ children don’t crave attention. Being both the firstborn and the last-born, there are pros and cons associated. These children have a mixture of experiences. This means, although you may be an achiever, you may still seem babied and petted. Children also sometimes act like little adults of the world in which they live. They are also happier without having to deal with the pressure of sibling rivalry. During Kindergarten, kids may seem to lack social skills. Nevertheless, around five years of age, they have shown to catch up with their peers. With much devotion from their parents, these kids are successful.

Despite the birth order traits in this article, gender plays a vital role in some cultures. Boys in some cultures are more valuable in some cultures while girls are in some others. Depending on this, the sex of a child contributes to conclusions of birth order traits. However, the traits here apply to cultures and traditions.

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