According to the American Psychological Association, about 40% to 50% of married couples divorce in the US each year. With second marriages, that number climbs to 60% and it only continues to climb with each marriage thereafter.
The statistics get even scarier for children of divorced parents. Only 60% of children with divorced parents actually marry, and 40% of those marriages end up in divorce as well. With children whose parents’ marriages are still intact, however, 80% of them marry as well, with only 9% of those marriages ending in divorce.
Why is this happening? There have been two identified reasons that are most applicable to people today: 1) there are either 5-7 years of excessive conflict and unhappiness, and 2) 10-12 years without true intimacy. Of course, many predictors of these outcomes are not discovered until later on in the marriage.
Personal and emotional problems, such as being quick to anger, taking offense, jealousy, poor management of money, developing any sort of addiction, and of course, communication between partners can foreshadow divorce over a period of time. A major factor leading to divorce is also lack of commitment or fidelity, with 25% of men reporting at least one affair in their lives, and 50% of the caseloads of couples’ therapists being held by affairs.
In essence, divorces are linked to these “personal” issues, and must be evaluated at their first instance in order to detect a potential problem in a marriage. The majority of couples, as much as 70%, don’t solve the issue, thus festering into a problem consuming the heart of a marriage.
The solution to these problems, is by no means easy, but can begin to be explained with these steps: 1) Communicate, as it truly is the key to expression in a relationship, 2) Resolve your conflicts, rather than avoiding the problems which will lead to bitterness and contempt, and 3) Intimacy, which is key to every relationship, as it brings you closer and creates feelings of safety, as well as an emotional connection.
