A joyful life is something you’d have to earn in modern times. It isn’t anything like how our ancestors lived. Today, despite one’s expectations of fortunate circumstances in life, life’s hardships and experiences of loss from time to time cannot be escaped or avoided. However, it is everyone’s experience that adversity does well. Adversity helps transform your life into a joyful life by strengthening you. Resilience here is the key to success. This means it’s an individual’s ability to manage emotions and bounce back into normal life and live a joyful life with purpose, as before, by accepting the setbacks irrespective of how big or small they are.
According to Patrick Dolan, resilience researcher at the National University of Ireland, “There’s a difference between coping and resilience. Coping is what we do in everyday life. Resilience is going one step further.” Also, according to her, resilient people reach beyond expectations of hardships and especially in instances like cancer.
According to researchers, men who face more stressful situations than the rest during adolescence were stronger and had the capability of coping with hardships better. They were more resilient adults than the rest. People who suffer from depression and anxiety are more likely the ones who had faced very few or no difficulties in life.
However, it’s surprising that as we age, we are more resilient, irrespective of the fact whether or not we face rough patches in life.
By 50 or 60, one might have definitely faced stressful experiences as tragedies, death of a loved one, divorce, going down the financial ladder, or an unexpected chronic illness. Although how devastated one might feel during these troublesome times, these experiences will undoubtedly shape up a person into a stronger version, preparing for any future hardships.
When one gets past the phase of initial stages of adversity, the effect is being led to a developed mindset with more coping capacities. This is known as the ‘Steeling Effect.’ This means, by this stage, one would know how and who to reach for help, and what not to expect.
Resilient people have the ability and the potential to develop mental strength in a way to face any bitterness in life. This way, resilient people can live a joyful life with no tension. When you’ve reached this stage of being resilient, you no more feel hopeless or pessimistic. But the benefits it holds are remarkable and timeless. These remarkable benefits of resilient people include reduced pain, speedy recovery, reduced heart problems as attacks, reduced chances for depression, and be able to uplift the moods of people around.
A study showed that people who chose a joyful life by being resilient, when exposed to stress, are more prone to experiencing higher levels of ‘good’ HDL cholesterol and less body fat compared to non-resilient individuals. Additionally, they are free from the risks of cardiovascular diseases. This means unmanaged emotions of non-resilient people are the culprit behind falling sick, catching viruses, and even developing cancer and cardiovascular diseases.
Tips to Heal Yourself
According to studies, most factors that contribute to making a person resilient are outside of us. However, there are few techniques to try out during these trying times. These may support and aid in becoming more resilient.
- Let Go of Things We Cannot Control
Although it is the most impossible thing during trying times, it is also the best and the right way to get hold of yourself. Getting hung up about things that might have been will not only take you down, but also keep you distant from experiencing resilience. It is then ideal to decide by deciding to improve your mentality and attitude in ways that can make you feel better. Letting things go also means trying a new strategy to cope with things that are out of your control. This would be a great tool for you to try out when life throws rotten tomatoes.
Ask yourself one question; “Are you feeling any better with what you are doing right now?” If things are taking you down or making you feel terrible or worse, then try out something new. Although how hard it may be to get into such thoughts, it is wise to train yourself sooner. This may help you escape the darkness within you.
For an instance, if you just split from your partner, you might constantly have negative thoughts. You can then tell yourself, “The thoughts that run through me are all because of the bitter situation I just faced. Now, could I carry on and do what I plan to do? It’s all about bringing in good thoughts, forcibly if you have to, because it is extremely important to let go of the past and adjust to the new life. Always remember that thinking about your old life and old plans you had for your old life is only going to be miserable. Now would you want that for yourself?
- Treat yourself Kindly
Always try to be empathetic to yourself as much as you be for others. A major factor that determines a resilient person is how you treat yourself. If you are a person who blames yourself for everything that’s happened, it would only bring in more bad vibes. Hence, treat yourself kindly and stop blaming yourself unreasonably.
Accepting human nature while experiencing painful moments is one step towards being (resilient) than fighting against painful feelings. It would be much easy to show yourself some care and kindness by embracing yourself the way you are. Think how you would embrace a friend who has had a terrible experience in life. Empathize and embrace yourself just the same way, and keep aiming to be more resilient every day.
- Look Up To Your Community
One characteristic of a resilient person is socializing more often. They never prefer isolating despite the rough patches in life. However, depending on the situation, people prefer being isolated for a cause. Yet, this cannot help the mourning person. It is the norm of nature that one partner in any relationship will go first.
It is then great to have a circle of friends who can support you during these times, then lock yourself up in a room. Isolating in such a situation can only make you feel lonelier, and you know a person can never come back. If you look up to your community during troublesome times, you will feel the lost person’s presence. This is because everyone will say good things about the deceased. This will help you recover faster. Looking out for social support will actually help a person. It can also make him/her more resilient. This means preparing yourself for the future.
- Self Dependence
As some situations are truly out of your control, taking advantage of your attitude is advisable. If you think your attitude can help you improve, then why not make use of it? Always depend on yourself for everything. This will make you a powerful individual. Choose to live a resilient life amidst the stressful life. After a while, you will be proud of yourself for choosing to depend on yourself. Learn mechanisms to make you strong every passing day, as that’s what a resilient individual would opt for.
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