Finding someone who you want to spend all your time with is truly wonderful. However, is it good to spend every waking moment with your partner? Although taking the time to do things that highlight both of your interests are clear signs that your relationship is strong. With all the time you two spend together, you can run the risk of losing your sense of self in your relationship. Success Magazine’s “Taking Time for Yourself in a Relationship” describes the ways in which “alone time” can be healthy for a relationship.
Not only can spending too much time together cause you to lose your individual identity, but “too much togetherness usually results in partners expecting too much from each other. “By being together all of the time, you both can smother each other. Seeing one another too often—especially if you live together can cause you two to expect more from each other. This happens because often you can develop a relationship that could take away from the spontaneity of the relationship. It is important to explore your individual interests to help you both appreciate your differences.”
Men and women need different kinds of “alone time.” For instance, “It is important for men to fulfill their need for independence.” This may be difficult to do because you do not want to risk your man straying away and potentially become unfaithful. However, you can let him go out to watch a football game with his friends or grab a beer on his way home from work. As Success Magazine states, “Give a man his space and he will be a better, more attentive, partner. When a man gets too close and doesn’t pull away, he often experiences increased moodiness, irritability, passivity and defensiveness.” You want him to be glad to see you when he gets home—not annoyed.
The same idea goes for women as well. However, there is a minor difference. Alone time “is good for a woman’s self-esteem to take care of herself.” With all of the roles that women play today, taking time to pamper yourself can help you relieve some of your everyday stresses. If self-indulging does not help take off some of the edge, “it is wonderful for a woman to get together with her girlfriends so they can talk about, and listen to, each other’s problems without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.” Sometimes, being able to vent to a third party about how you are feeling can be the best remedy for stress.
Together, you both can schedule a time where each of you are having your individual night outs. By doing this, you eliminate the possibility of arguing over what either of you were really doing while the other was home. Have a set night where both of you can go out and have your own lives, so that you can meet each other at home later and acknowledge that you missed each other.
