Saying “no” can prove challenging for many people, so they often avoid it in several ways. Some people are often afraid to say no for reasons that involve others’ opinions of them. It’s very likely that you are one of them. The fact of the matter is that you may be saving yourself, and quite possibly someone else, time by simply learning to say what you actually want and feel from the outset. This may in general improve your overall day and mood. Coming to terms with not always being able to agree and say “yes” will help you feel free and happier.
One of the reasons you tend to agree to something more often, even when you do not really want to, is to be well liked; most people want to stay on good terms with most or certain people. This occasionally causes you to go out when you are feeling tired or to spend money on a getaway that you may not be able to really afford at the moment. More so, you do not want your inclinations to not take part to prevent a relationship, whether it be a friendship or something romantic.
Then, there is the aspect of feeling guilty about not agreeing to something. When you see the opportunity to help someone and make their day easier, many often feel the need to always be available even when that means readjusting a schedule, putting themselves in a difficult position or giving up a day of relaxation they had planned. You can’t help everyone all the time, especially if you are not in the state to do so. Recognize your limits. It’s okay to say no, even to close friends or family; if they care, they will understand that sometimes you just will not be able to give a hand, but that does not mean you care any less.
Another very common difficulty in saying “no” comes in the idea that you may miss out on something, now or later if the person refrains from asking or inviting again. This is especially true with the younger generation that is in constant search for something new and exciting and who often want to share that experience. The most important thing to do in these instances is to realize that there will always be another time and to make sure that you also create opportunities and experiences for yourself and not rely on others for them.
More so, if you really want to say no and are sure you won’t say yes, refrain from the “maybe.” That statement, if you are really not in the fence about something, is useless, vague and untrustworthy. You want to be as sincere as you can and you want to make sure others are aware of that, whether or not they are always pleased with your answer.
So, all in all, just make sure you know that it is okay to say “no” sometimes when you don’t want to or are unable to do something that someone asks of you. You’d rather stay in and watch TV than go party -great. You had arranged for a romantic weekend and can’t babysit -so be it. Just make sure what you do makes you happy.
