Katy Perry is Not Invited to My Birthday Party


In Katy Perry’s new music video for her song ‘Birthday,’ she plays five different characters. In typical silly Katy fashion, she disguises herself as an inappropriate old woman, a drunken clown, a princess who is a poor painter, Yosef Shulem, a Jewish MC who eerily resembles your creepy uncle, and lastly, an animal trainer, a former zookeeper who has lost his license.

The video begins by stating that in “April 2014, Katy Perry attended five birthday parties… only no one knew it was her. Introducing: The world’s Worst Birthday Party Entertainers.”

Wondering why she wasn’t actually hired to perform at the parties? We first see her as “Goldie,” named after her “Golden Nuggets.” An old woman with enormous breasts and an enormous plunging neckline. Then, we meet Yosef- who does birthday parties and bar mitzvahs, but not funerals. Next, the drunken clown who accepted the job from a Craigslist posting. Then, the animal trainer who lost his license. Finally, the princess who inspires your kids with stories that “like will never come true.”

In the end, Katy only reveals her true identity to the group of young girls whom she pretended to be a princess to. The girls were freaked out and clutched to Katy, the other parties were just left freaked out, and potentially scarred for life.

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