TRUST- It’s the almighty. It takes years to earn, and only seconds to lose. So why bother? Trust is a very important aspect in relationships (not just intimate ones); in fact, it’s probably the most important thing in any relationship! So why are you having a difficult time trusting others? Chances are, fear is the underlying force driving each of these problems.
Unrealistic Expectations – Many people have extremely high expectations, and this is often (but not always) a subconscious decision. Why? Fear. You want the other person to fail so that you don’t have to trust them and possibly have that trust broken later. So you design the relationship in such a way that you don’t have to trust them. Think about it: if you set your expectations high enough, you make them so high that no one could ever possibly reach them, creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Once they fail, you’ll say to yourself “See? I knew they couldn’t be trusted!”, when really, you set things up that way to begin with.
Projecting Your Past Onto Your Present – Once again, fear is taking over your mind. You remember how many times you’ve been stabbed in the back or have endured heart ache, and you won’t dare allow it to happen again. It’s hard, but why project the actions of one, lousy person onto someone else? It’s unfair to them, and they deserve a chance to be trusted, just like any other person.
Insecurity – When you’re constantly stricken with the negative idea that you’re worthless and inadequate, you begin to unconsciously shut others out. You become uncomfortable opening up to others, being honest, and showing them your true self. Giving trust is something that you need not be afraid of! Not that you should run off telling them your whole life story and personal information, but its hard to function without a close friend or person to turn to. Stop thinking that people wouldn’t care, and start growing in confidence. You’re worth it!
