The ‘Refresh’ button in a relationship is more important than anything else before things reach another level. It is no secret that the word ‘divorce’ pops up, even though a couple may not even be ready to split. It is only then that couples try refreshing and attending couples’ retreats just to give one last try. It’s also true that not all couples fight or have arguments. When this is the scenario, some couples drift apart with less investment in the relationship, while the rest opt to live in silence until things set aflame.
As much as you’d like decluttering your house and washing your windows, it is important to remember that hitting refresh in your relationship is what will clean most things in life. Here we discuss 3 simple ways how you can boost your love with your partner.
- Step out of your Comfort Zone
A lot of couples get into a daily pattern in life where they think there’s no way out after spending 2 decades together. It’s practical to think so with a load of daily chores as making dinner, laundry, and responsibilities of children. A couple will have very little time to spend with each other in this case. One best way to overcome this feeling is to step out of the comfort zone and learn something new together- as a couple. It’s never too late to learn things in life.
A Tango class or something similar would be a great idea for a start. As much as you will learn, you will also experience so much together. Additionally, these experiences give you so many things to talk about, and will eventually engage both partners to be contributing to the same cause.
To reinforce a bond between a couple, it is of utmost importance to break out of the daily boredom by trying out activities outside the norm. Moreover, these can include activities like cooking lessons, yoga seminars, dance classes, or anything that the heart desires. Cooking lessons are ideal, as you will be working together in achieving something. Adding a weekly excursion or even nature trails and sightseeing together can do so much difference to a couple. Moreover, this means you are investing in your relationship.
Science has come up with the benefits of trying out new things with your partner. Arthur Aron, a social psychology researcher, showed couples who engage in new experiences together reported that a highly satisfying relationship. Spending time during these activities helps the brain to release dopamine, a chemical that is known as the ‘love drug’. This gets couples to be closer and feel the importance of each other’s presence.
- Recollect Old Memories
Living in the past for a couple who’s had a good love life may not be a bad idea. In fact, it can do so much good for the existing relationship. A study in 2013 from Queensland University showed that couples with good and happy memories are more likely to agree on the same thing during a discussion, and showed intimacy during the conversation. Therefore, remembering and reminiscing over the past is therefore a favorable strategy to some couples, and has worked really well.
Despite how hard life may be, if both partners are on the same, agreeing on the same things and feeling the connection, then any setback would be a mere distraction. Walking down the memory lane helps a relationship to look at each other differently as you recall memories.
With the busy schedules at work and home, one may start treating their partners with struggle because of the stressful life patterns. Such daily incidents can hence result in conflicts or disliking each other’s personalities. At that point, it would be hard for one to understand that what they are going through is only situational. One partner may attempt to use the other as a stress ball, or in some situations, both might behave similarly. Moreover, post such incidents, the thought of your partner may get the day even more stressful.
Therefore, happy memories should be recalled when possible. Sitting down at the same restaurant or place where you first met each other, and recalling memories, can be uplifting. However, every couple may not respond similarly. One other way is trying to recreate memories together, like the first date. Those couples who have met online can try reading their emails or chats together and enjoying the conversation. Additionally, you can try aiming for a sense of playfulness that might have lost on the way.
- Discussing How you Fight
Until things are at the boiling point, couples avoid handling conflicts that can actually improve the situation. Handling conflicts poorly will ultimately have a negative impact on any relationship. This will only make your relationship suffer an ugly turn. Hence, in order to avoid stepping into such a scenario, it is advisable for partners to reassess how they should handle arguments and conflicts. You can do this by discussing when both the partners are in a good mood. Discussing how you should resolve a conflict would add value to your relationship. This is because it simply means how interested you are in respecting each other, even during a fight or a conflict.
A constructive argument requires patience for it to be successful. Partners will have to take turns in following argument guidelines. Couples who tried constructive arguments said that they have truly invested in their relationship by using different strategies during a conflict. This made them satisfied and more understanding. You can try being constructive in your arguments by giving your partner time to understand, seeking clarification or an explanation, listening to your partner throughout the argument without messing things up staying on the course, and not bring in the slightest bit from a previous fight, and posing questions politely.
Understandably, handling a conflict planned can be tackling. However, the slightest administration during a fight will add up to positive vibes. Hence, it would be wise to learn and understand more productive ways to argue. Always remember that there’s no winner in any argument. It is also important to identify the exact moment when to walk away.
Never let yourself be disgraced and disrespected. However, if you are wrong, a bit of patience is advisable for the sake of a marriage or a relationship. This will convey a message to your partner that you are not among them who would walk away when your relationship needs help and support.
In conclusion, trying out the above techniques in your life will be what you need right now. This will undoubtedly hit the refresh button and give your love a spring-clean. You will feel calmer as you get used to the right ways of refreshing.
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