You’re talking to a friend, and suddenly the conversation begins to get emotional. You may start to feel your eyes swell up. You may not want to cry, but some people are just easy criers. Although it is not a sign of weakness, it can still be embarrassing. If you’re an easy crier, here are some steps you can take to keep the tears under control.
1. Prepare what you’re going to say
If you know that you’re going into an emotional or sensitive topic, try practicing what you’re going to say. Write it down or talk to a mirror. Of course, you can’t plan a conversation, but you can at least know what points you want to make and practice saying them with a straight face. It will help when you’re in the real situation.
2. Remove yourself
If you find yourself on the verge of tears, try to separate yourself from the situation. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Even taking a step backward could put some distance between you and the topic at hand. If you can’t get away, try to move away from the topic mentally. Think of the movie you saw last night, or the shoes that someone is wearing. Focusing on a different topic can help tremendously; just make sure not to appear uninterested in what the other person is saying.
3. Try smiling
According to Michael Lewis, co-author of a study on emotions and botox, “It would appear that the way we feel emotions isn’t just restricted to our brain—there are parts of our bodies that help and reinforce the feelings we’re having.” In other words, frowning when you’re feeling sad can enhance the negative emotions. However, the reverse is also true: smiling can prompt you to feel happier. If smiling is inappropriate in a certain experience, then maintaining a neutral face can help too.
4. Drink water
If you’re prone to sobs or gasps, drink water. It’s impossible to sob and drink water at the same time. Drinking water also gives you something else to do and think about. If you do not have water, or any other beverage, readily available, concentrate on swallowing and taking deep breaths.
5. Confide
If something is bothering you, confide in someone you trust and someone you feel comfortable crying in front of. Talking to another person can help put things in perspective and make you more comfortable with them. It also allows you to hear their side of things, giving you another way to view the subject. Either way, it’s important to talk to someone you trust.
6. Finally, let yourself cry.
There’s nothing wrong with crying, and it’s bad to keep your emotions bottled up. When you’re in a safe place, let yourself cry. You’ll feel better afterwards.
