Ending a relationship is sad no matter how long the couple has been together. If you happen to end things before you got the chance to celebrate holidays and birthdays, you can actually consider yourself lucky. You may have avoided an extremely awkward situation where you would have to decide whether or not to give the gifts back. Here are some ways that will help you make that decision.
First and foremost, make a pile of what your now ex had given you throughout the relationship. By doing this, you avoid finding his gifts in the back of your closet or under your bed later down the road and thinking about him when you have already moved on. Keep the past in the past by summoning the courage to put all of your memories in one place—like a garbage bag, so that you do not have to think about the good times you had as a couple and the bad times that caused the break up. This first step can help you heal in the long run as you remember why you are potentially getting rid of all the memories.
After displaying all of the gifts in one place, set aside some time to evaluate the break up. Again, bring up the memories—good and bad, and then ask yourself why you two ended the relationship. Was it on mutual terms? If so, you will understand why you cannot keep everything your partner gave you and you are also more willing to move on. If it was a bad break, due to infidelity, you may want to seek revenge by lighting the pile you made on fire. However, never “seek revenge,” as eHarmony suggests in “Nine Things to Never Do After a Breakup.” You want to show your ex that you deserve better and will not stoop to a hurtful act like they did. If the break up was your fault, give the gift(s) back. You owe your ex the opportunity to decide what they want to do, especially if they spent a lot on a particular item.
Always consider the value of the gifts you got from your partner. If you had spent a fortune on an engagement ring, you would want the chance to get your money back. Also know that lavish gifts hold big emotions and are displays of affection; therefore, keeping them can be a constant reminder of a love that you do not have anymore. Ultimately, no matter the price, you should not hold on to gifts from your ex if you truly want to move on.
Although you want to carry on with your life, do not return gifts right away. Give each other time to process the breakup. Go out or have a night in with your closest friends and go through the possibilities of having them as back up when you meet with your ex to return their things. Remember, when it is time to return the gifts, make sure you give them a heads up that you are coming. This way, you can see if they are ready to see you again or can come up with an alternative method to giving the gifts back and getting closure.
